Confessional

This is one of those days that I feel like I need to be catholic so I can go to a confessional...so if I get this wrong, just remember that I am not catholic and this is for comedic purposes....To set the stage, I am visiting the priest of weightloss and confessing my sins....

"Forgive me father for I have sinned...it has been 14 days since I last followed my diet. I have been walking daily into temptation and Satan has taken control," Becky confesses with extra cellulite and ripples on her thighs.

"Bless you my child...the road is rough and long," declares the priest of weightloss, "but you have what it takes to make it to the end. To get yourself back in the good graces of the lord of weightloss, you will need to journal your food everyday, exercise 4 days a week and look at yourself naked in the mirror after you weigh tomorrow morning."

"Oh, father, that is just too harsh. I can't do it...I am weak. Can't I just do a couple push ups and call us even?"

"NO!...you must do as I say."

"Ok, ok...fine...I will do what you want. Thank you for your grace and forgiveness."