What I'm Thinkin' Thursday

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the alien objects from my body...my implants.  (Click HERE to read the post that explains my decision to remove them.)  I have to admit that I was extremely nervous to have them removed.  Did I love them?  No.  Was I happy with the results of the augmentation?  Heck No!  Do I believe they were the cause of a lot of my sickness?  Hell yes!

The recovery was rough.  When the surgeon took out the implants there wasn't much left.  All of the tissue literally fell under my arm pits.  So the amount of reconstruction was immense.  He put in several rows of permanent sutures that created an internal "bra".  The extra "work" caused the recovery to be painful.  I had an allergic reaction to the adhesive that didn't show up until late May/June.  So the rash was unbearable in the summer heat.  It took two rounds of steroids to get over it.  The final straw was that I also dealt with an infected suture.  The infection took over half of my breast and looked crazy.  After three rounds of antibiotics (both oral and topical) and the infection still not going away, the doctor has to perform minor surgery to remove the problem.  Lucky me, I am now a statistic, cause they had never seen this type of infection.

So once that was all done and I was able to settle into my new girls, I am thrilled with them.  The size and shape turned out to be what I was looking for when I got the implants put in.  I try not to live with regret, but to know that breast implants impacted by life so severely for over 8 years is really hard to choke down.  I can't get back those 8 years.  I can't recreate those memories that I wasn't healthy enough to enjoy.

Several people of have asked why I didn't take them out sooner.  I took out a loan when I had the implants put in...insurance won't pay to take them out....so it was kinda hard to take out another loan to remove them.  I felt like a failure in a way too.  It was a big financial decision to put them in and I couldn't put us into more debt just to remove them.  So, I dealt with it.  I don't think I can ever thank my parents enough for offering to help me fund the removal.  My life has been changed in such a wonderfully positive way this past year.  I have my life back!

As a reminder here is a little timeline....

• before I had babies I was a small B
• after babies, weight gain and weight loss, I was a pathetically droopy D
• after implants and breast lift, I became a voluptuous D (even though I wanted to be a C)   
• after more weight gain and weight loss, I was an F cup of droopy implants
• and finally...after removal and another lift, I am a wonderful, natural C

So...for the fun part...the B&A pics (and believe it or not...that is the same bikini top...yikes!)

What I'm Thinkin' Thursday

I went to my well woman checkup on Monday

...insert ugh!...

anyways, back to what I'm thinkin' and how it relates

So, when I got on the scale for the nurse to weigh me, she said..."oh, you must weigh more than I thought" and then moved the thingy to 150.  Surprisingly this didn't hurt my feelings, but what it did do was make me wonder something.  Is my view of my body still distorted?  Do I still see myself as overweight?  I think the answer to that is "yes".  Because I still think people see me as a fat person when they look at me...so to hear the nurse say she thought I was lighter than what came up on the scale was kind of a compliment.

It's been a little over three years since I had weight loss surgery.  And since I look at myself everyday, I think that impacts how I see myself.  Add to that a distorted self image to begin with and you've got a combination that is not quiet accurate.  Because of this, I decided to go back through some old pictures and see it for myself....it's time to put some current picture beside the beginning picture. 

This doesn't necessarily fix my screwed up brain, but man, I forgot where I was and now I can see where I am now.  I wish there was some magic switch that would help me reprogram my brain...not only to see myself through the eyes of truth, but even to help me with my addiction to food.  Because my addiction is far from being over.  This is a daily journey that I will forever be on.

But let me tell you...I plan to do this post again in another three years!  Because I'm never going back!

Recovering

Well, the sugery went well. I was at home and in back in bed resting by Thursday afternoon.

I was so looking forward to getting some pain medicine induced rest, but I had no such luck. They prescribed Hyrdocodone every 4 hours and believe it or not, it does not knock me out. Doesn't even make me the slightest bit sleepy. Boo! That stinks.

I took my first shower on Sunday and it was not a party. I almost passed out and was so thankful Tony was in there with me. He to lay me on the floor of the bathroom to keep me from going down involuntarily.

My second shower was yesterday and it went SO much better. It felt so good to get clean and not feel like I was gonna face plant on the tile floor.

I am now trying to wean myself off the pain meds. I took my pain pill right at bed time and decided to wait until I woke up to take another. I didn't wake up in horrible pain, but I was much achier and looking forward to another pill. In trying to wean, it is wearing me a little bit more and I can't wait to take a nap.

My arms are very sore too and that completely surprised me. I still don't have full range of motion so I can't reach above my head.

I am looking forward to my post-op appointment on Friday. I truly appreciate everyone's prayers and kind words.

Surgery Date Set

It seems like all I do is apologize to you guys for not blogging...and here I go again. Work has been horrendous and if I am on the computer at night, it is to work. I DO NOT use the computer for personal stuff hardly at all anymore, but I will try VERY hard to keep up to date. Maybe I just need to let it go and blog when I can and stop stressing.

This is going to just be a general update and a request for thoughts and prayers. Then tonight, I schedule out several days of posts to hopefully give you guys some reading enjoyment through the beginning of next week.

Thoughts and Prayers, please! My surgery to remove my implants is THIS THURSDAY! Please pray for the surgery to go well, my recovery to be swift and for this to give me the needed relief.

If you are just now hearing about me doing this, you can read the blog posted HERE and it will bring you up to date.

I promise I will get lots and lots of stuff (and pictures) posted tonight and even though I'll be out for surgery, you will get lots to read.

A Decision Made

Eight years ago, I became a workout/weight watchers junkie and lost a significant amount of weight. After that weight loss (and nursing two babies years earlier), I was a walking billboard for the song "Do Your Boobs Hang Low". At that time, Tony and I made the decision that I would have a breast augmentation with a lift and implants and a tummy tuck.

Six months after that surgery, my immune system plummeted and I became very ill. I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and even though I asked multiple doctors, none of them thought it was related to the implants. So I kept them in.

I gained all the weight back (plus SOME) and struggled for years to get it off. I was depressed and miserable. Then I made the decision to have bariatric surgery, which was a huge success. But as I've told you guys about before, I didn't walk away from that without "side affect" issues either (i.e. POTS).

There has always been a nagging voice in my head though, that my implants are still playing a much larger part in how I feel. And after the weight gain and weight loss, they are no longer the wonderful, perky girls that they were after I got them.

In trying to decide if I should have them reconstructed, I've come to the decision that I am going to remove my implants and have my natural girlies reconstructed...although, I will probably be able to share a bra with my 11 year old daughter once that is done.

I am nervous and excited both. I have many insecurities about doing this. How will my body react to the surgery and anesthesia? Will I like having itty bitties after living for years with F cups? Will the removal help the back pain that I've been having? Will the removal actually help my health? But overall, I think this will be good. I think the possible positives outweigh the negatives.

The bariatric center that did my gastric sleeve works with a plastic surgeon at OU Medical Center. He is familiar with the stretched out skin that comes after massive and quick weight loss. The plan is to have them removed mid-April. Not sure if I can photographically document this for you guys, but I will do what I can.

I feel really good about this decision and would appreciate your prayers! Just imagine if I can do this and feel healthy again. I get all giddy just thinking about that.

Work Arrangement

Have you ever had your boss schedule a meeting that made your stomach lurch into your throat? Well, I did...last week. The meeting subject was "Work Arrangement". I knew immediately that it had to do with me still not working in the office full time and boy was I dreading that conversation.

So, effective last Friday, I am back in the office full-time. For all of you that don't have the luxury of working from home, I know you are scoffing at me. What's the big deal right? Well, with POTS, it physically hurts me to sit at work for 8 hours a day. My dizzy spells get worse and all I want to do when I get home is sleep. So, I feel like poo and my family really gets the raw end of the stick.

I am hoping I will eventually acclimate and be somewhat functional in the evenings and on the weekends. I guess only time tell. Only happy thoughts, right!

Plan "B"

I saw my doctor today and since Plan "A" didn't work, it is now on to Plan "B".

And for the sake of complete transparency, I am VERY VERY nervous about Plan "B".

Steroids.

Yep! I just said steroids.

The medicine is a corticosteroid which is used to help the body maintain the proper balance of water and minerals. The goal with this medicine to increase the volume in my veins.

But I am scared to death that it will also increase the volume in my ARSE. We have all known people on steroids and how much weight it caused them to gain and how puffy they looked. I haven't spent the last 22 months losing and working to keep the weight off, only to take a new medication that will make me gain it back.

I will take a half dose for the next week and then at the end of that, I am to call my doctor and let him know how it is going. Then I will go to the full dose. So, we shall see.

I have a 70'ish' percent chance that this will work. So, if it doesn't, I guess it is on to Plan "C".

Keeping the Faith

Well, for the last week, I have been taking a half dose (10mg) of the new medication. Today was officially my first day on the full dose (20mg). Within an hour of taking it, I was tired, lethargic and couldn't even stand without stumbling.

This was obviously not the intended result so I called the doctor and left a message for the nurse. After a few hours, the nurse called back and gathered all of the necessary facts. She told me if I didn't hear from her by 3pm, to call her back. Within two minutes of hanging up, the phone rang and it was the nurse again. She said the doctor wanted me to go back to the half dose until I come back at my next appointment.

After the call, I returned to the couch and was somewhat happy with the decision. Ten minutes later though, my phone was ringing again. And this time it was the doctor. He asked a few questions about how I had been feeling on the new medicine and he made the decision that it wasn't working, so there was no point in continuing with it.

He said he would review my file over the weekend and get back with me next week. My favorite part of the conversation though, was when he said "Don't Despair. We will find something that works." I truly feel like he is working on my side and has a true interest in helping me find relief. I have complete faith that he the right specialist to help me find my way to the light.

Not a good weekend...

The doctor was seriously not kidding, changing from a vasal constricting medicine to a vasal dilating medicine is really hard on the body. Saturday and Sunday were rough. I felt like I had strep...one of the side affects of a beta blocker is dry mouth and sore throat. Add to that, more tiredness and dizziness and it makes for a tiring weekend.

I took today off sick and rested. Thinking I was doing better, the kids and I drove to Target to get the dab of groceries that we needed and in the short time in the store, I found out just how much the beta blockers are impacting me. It will be a while before I am 100%. Hopefully though, my body will adjust and I can get enough salt in my system to retain the necessary amount of fluids in my veins.

Could there be a light....

....at the end of this tunnel???

I saw my new specialist about POTS yesterday and I am thrilled that he actually knows what POTS is and has developed a plan for me. Now, I am just praying that this plan actually works.

I learned a few new things about POTS. First, I could actually outgrow this. He is thinking I should be past it by 45...so I am hoping that is the case. Second, there is nothing wrong with my heart or my brain...that just aren't communicating effectively. I told Tony that maybe I should sign them up for marriage counseling, it's always helped us communicate better...hehehe. And Third, basically my veins are those of a 243 lb woman. So, when I lost weight, although everything else got smaller, my veins did not. That is why they aren't constricting properly.

So, how can we fix all of this?

Exercise. Yep, he wants me to start exercising to build up the muscles in my legs so they can help support my veins. It's either that or compression hose and I AM NOT wearing compression hose. I am not against exercise, but I am scared to death of it. The last time I "worked out", I ended up in bed for two days becuase it absolutely wiped me out. So, I am starting out slow. Tony and I went on a 5 minute walk this morning and we slowly work me into longer and longer walks. The doc wants me exercising 20 minutes a day.

More Salt and Fluids. How many women take diuretics to avoid water rention? Too many. But that is exactly what needs to happen for me. So, I will continue drinking my water and powerade, but I also need to be putting salt on all my foods. Ugh! I'm actually not huge on salt, but I guess I will learn to love it.

New Meds. I am VERY nervous about this. On Friday afternoon, I take my last midodrine and then on Saturday I start taking a Beta Blocker. He wants me to do it over the weekend because I will basically feel like I have the flu for 3 - 4 days. Yay for me :( Pray that this part isn't as miserable as he says it is going to be.

Gain Weight. He wants me to eat smaller, more frequent meals and to put on about 8 lbs. A lot of this weight will be water weight, but he says I am too thin. (Goodness...I NEVER thought I would hear a doctor tell me I was too thin.)

I will be journaling my weight daily and my blood pressure and pulse twice a day. Then in four weeks, I go back to see him. This plan is not 100%, but it is a start and I guess we will tweak it as we go. Keep praying that I can find my way out of this tunnel and make it to the light at the end.

Say A Little Prayer

This summer has been hard. The heatwave (which seems like a minor description of how it really feels outside) has made my POTS symptoms unbearable. If I go outside in the heat, it takes hours to recover. So, I've really tried to stay inside.

I've tried to work from home as much as possible as well, but I am supposed to be in the office. Unfortunately, when the temperature is at 90 degrees at 8am, just walking into the office from the parking lot, can make me feel like I've been run over by a mac truck. So, I've sure you can just imagine how long it takes me to actually be productive.

Well, after much discussion with Tony this weekend and a view of the 7 day forecast for this week...

....I made the tough decision to ask my boss if I could work from home on a temporary basis.

I typed up a professional email and clicked send. My stomach was absolutely in knots. I had previously provided him with links that explained what POTS is and how I feel from day to day, so I knew he was fully equipped to make an informed decision, but I also understand that he has a business to run and may not find this request in the best interest of the company.

After a nerve-racking email exchange and live conversation, he told me that he fully supports the idea for me...BUT....he needs to talk to his boss about it before he gives me the green light.

If I get the okay for this, I will more than likely work from home everyday until possibly October or November...depending on how long this horrible heat lasts.

So, please say a quick prayer that this works out for me. It will not only give me physical relief, but mental relief, as it will reduce the amount of guilt I feel for needing to work from home when he expects me in the office.

Also, I see a new Cardio-physiologist on August 16. Say a prayer that this doctor can put me on a path of well being or at least point me in the right direction.

Eighteen Months

It is hard to believe that it has been 18 months since I had weight loss surgery. I have to admit, I wouldn't just urge someone to do this surgery. While it has been one of the best choices I could have done for myself, I don't think it should ever be entered into without thorough research, thinking and praying.

I have been hugely blessed with an amazing weight loss. I've officially lost 105 pounds...which is 12 more pounds that I wanted to lose. I hope that eventually I will gain some of those 12 pounds back, as I think this weight is a little too small for me. But at the present time, I don't have a choice in the matter. I literally eat EVERYTHING and can't gain weight. Don't get me wrong, my portions are still teenie tiny, but I have been far from strict when it comes to carbs and sweets. This will come back to "bite me in the butt" one day and I am sure I will whine to you all about it, but for now, it is what it is.

Unfortunately, my health isn't the best right now, but I strongly believe that I would still have POTS even if I hadn't had surgery and lost weight. It may not have come on as quickly without the surgery and weight loss, but in reflection on my health prior to surgery, I can see the early signs of POTS. So, to find the positive in this, I would rather be skinny and not feeling well, than fat and not feeling well.

I still have a hang up about my appearance. I don't feel like a thin person. When I am at a restaurant and I order dessert, I feel like I am being judged. Like the people around me are thinking that I don't need to be ordering dessert because I am fat. I know that makes no sense, but maybe someone reading this can relate. After having thought that about myself for years, it is just so hard to reprogram my inner dialogue.

I still haven't gone shopping to buy a new wardrobe. I am a little scared to do that. Seven years ago when I had lost weight (and then gained it back), I spent a ton of money on clothes and then couldn't fit into any of it and had to look at boxes of skinny clothes in my closet every day. So, for now, I buy a little bit here and there and only have a few pieces that I wear over and over.

Would I do it again? Heck yeah! I believe it was the right decision for me and my family. My journey is far from over, but I am happy with where I am and am so thankful that you have been here with me this entire time.

Hamster Roll

Well, I had my treadmill test yesterday. It wasn't horribly grueling, but it wasn't perfectly pleasant either. I felt like a hamster running on it's wheel in some science lab.

It only took 15 minutes for them to get my heart rate up to 200 bpm. My little ticker was ticking a little too fast. And it wasn't like I was jogging...the highest speed I got up to was 4.5 mph and by that point, I was dizzy and couldn't breath. In fact, I told them I needed to stop and so two of the techs stood with their hands on my back to keep me on the treadmill and moving for a few more seconds.

Although I don't have specific results yet, the lab tech said all he could see was POTS...which we new was already present. Of course, I still have to wait for the official reading from the doctor...but I am optimistic that there is nothing else besides POTS.

I wasn't near as exhausted as I thought I would be afterwards, but I was still pretty tired and dizzy. I definitely slept like a baby last night.

Heart Beats

I visited my cardiologist on Friday for a check up. My dizziness has kind of changed...I still get the horrible head rushes, but now I have a constant dizzy even when I am sitting. Of course, this perplexed my doc...the look on his face was funny. He is concerned because my POTS shouldn't be causing this type of dizziness.

So, in the interim, he has left my Midodrine at the same dosage, prescribed me motion sick patches to wear daily (which I am still waiting to get from the home delivery pharmacy), he has referred me to an ENT and I am going next week to do a treadmill test at the Heart Hospital.

I am absolutely dreading the treadmill. This test was brought on by my explanation of what exercise is like for me. My last walk was a week or so ago. Ashton and I walked to her school and back...ten minutes at best. By the time we were home, my heart was pounding in my chest and I was so tired I had lay down. So, after this description, he didn't hesitate to schedule me for the test. I am nervous of what an hour on a treadmill is going to do to me. Wish me luck. I'm sure I will want to sleep the rest of that evening.

I'll keep you updated and let you know how horrible the treadmill test is...:)and if the ENT finds anything out of the ordinary.

Admitting There is a Problem...

...is the first step to recovery.

I HAVE DEPRESSION! AND NOT TAKING MY MEDS IS NOT AN OPTION!

Sorry if this post is going to be a little of a debbie downer, but I just need to get this off my chest. If you don't suffer with an illness, maybe I can enlighten you a bit in to how it affects your day to day state of mind.

I really do try to be a positive person. I try to smile a lot. I try to be happy. But when I don't feel well (which happens to be more often lately), it is so hard. My body hurts...physically hurts all over. I am tired. I am mentally challenged...hehehe. I can't focus. I just want to sleep. I want to cry.

All of these are symptoms related to my CFS and POTS. But they are also symptoms of depression. Each night when I go to bed I have no idea how I will feel when I wake up. I can't take it for granted that I will have a normal day. And this uncertainty can be very taxing.

So, don't yell at me, but about 3 - 6 months ago, I got lax with my anti-depressant meds and just stopped taking them. Well, over the last several weeks I have had several discussions with friends and family. I've realized that if I can minimize some of the symptoms that I feel each day with AD meds, then why am I not taking them??? Why am I letting myself suffer?

So I wanted to make this PUBLIC DECLARATION that I will no longer treat myself like this. I will give myself every opportunity to feel well. And if that means that I add two more pills into my already HUGE supply of daily intake, then that is what I must do. Period.

Realization Through Tears

(Disclaimer...I think I've talked about this before, but I'm not sure...so if I have, just humor me, it has further relevance to today's post too. )

I'm tired. When I get tired like this, I get weepy. Yes, I know...it isn't uncommon for me to cry at...well...anything, yes, I cry at basically anything. But this "weepiness" is different than crying at something that I would normally cry at anyways.

One of my loves is to sing with our praise group at church. I feel spiritually fulfilled when I am singing praises. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do much singing as of late because it exacerbates the symptoms of POTS (in layman's terms...I get really dizzy and tired when I sing...and standing up to sing is completely out of the question).

I made the decision to go to our Wednesday practice last night. This is where we pick out the songs for Sunday morning worship and we run through each one to make sure we are all singing them correctly. One of the songs we ran through last night was "View that Holy City". I have always enjoyed this song but it hasn't necessarily held a special place for me. It was a just a hymn we sang...ya know? Well that is....until now....because of this...

"I'm gonna sing and never get tired one of these days"

Hallelujah! I immediately had tears well up in my eyes last night as we sang this line in the song. It was different from my normal tears too. With my body weak, my heart sore and my spirit struggling, these words brought such an amazing comfort to me. Because I AM gonna sing in heaven one of these days and I will be able to sing as long as I want without my human shell holding me back.

I am tearing up even now. A mixture of sorrow for what I am limited by in this life and joy for what I will be able to freely do in the next.

I've Been Grounded

Tony has officially grounded me from late night activities.
I now have a curfew with little or no exceptions. Why? you ask.

Well, last week, I was out late several nights (and by late I mean past 10 and getting to bed after 11 or even later). Tuesday night I went to The Color Purple with mom...Wednesday I ran errands all evening and then was up late reading, Thursday I went to the JH meeting and was up late again, and Friday I was scrapbooking with friends until midnight, went to Wal-Mart to get groceries after and then stayed up reading...AGAIN.


You would think that one full day of rest would be sufficient right...well, not for me. In fact, I slept most of each day...Saturday, Sunday and Monday. It is 100% obvious that my body is not going to recover quickly from this type of activity anymore. In fact, it won't even recover at a typical rate. Because here it is Wednesday and I am still tired. So, Tony has officially laid down the law and said no more.

But I do have to agree with him, cause this affects all of us. It's hard to be a wife and mother when sleep is the only thing my body will let me do.


On top of the tiredness, when my body shut downs like this, I have more and more dizzy spells. It is not uncommon for me to feel generally dizzy all day long. And that just isn't safe.

I hate that it has gotten to this, but I am going to have to turn into a little bit of a hermit and limit the extracurricular activities that I take part in. I still plan to do the things I enjoy, I just have to be smart about it.

Resolutions??

So, did you make any resolutions for 2011? I didn't make any last year (at least not that I documented), but have made the decision to document a few this year.

1) I resolve to go out on (at least) one date a month with Tony.

2) I resolve to read 52 books again this year. I keep track of the books I've read on a site called Shelfari. Well, toward the end of last year, I noticed that I was getting close to actually reading 52 books (one book a week)...so I pushed myself and I actually did it. Well, I'm going to see if I can do it again. Wish me luck and give Tony your condolences.

3) Get my butt back in the gym. No marathons this year, no crazy work out schedules, just some regular physical fitness to help my blood flow properly and maybe make me feel a little better. It's crazy that you have expend energy to have more energy.

So, if you made any resolutions...what are they???

What a Difference a Year Makes

Today marks the one year anniversary of my surgery. I remember how excited and scared I was about the surgery and what life would be like afterwards. I love that I can go back through my blog though and read exactly how I was feeling at the time, rather than try to rely on my memory alone.

I am still in the honeymoon phase of surgery and I am living the life. I have lost 102 pounds total and am still losing it...no matter what I eat. Yes, that's right, I can pretty much each whatever I want now (with little sickness), but the weight keeps coming off. I have to admit this SCARES me to death. I know that I am making bad food choices again, but when there are no consequences to stop me, I have a hard time stopping myself.

I have had several conversations with people here at work who are now two years out from their surgery dates. Most of them are now starting to put some of the weight back on and they are back to struggling with food. None of them are where they were initially, but we all know that this is the time for them to get it under control or the weight will come back on. So...this is my future. I figure I have about 6 more months of not being able to stop the weight loss. But I know at about the 18 month point, it will be up to me to make good choices in order to maintain and stay healthy.

It's weird to wake up in the mornings and be thin. I still picture the overweight girl in my mind and then when I catch my reflection in the mirror, it is odd to see a different person looking back. I still fear that I will wake up one morning and be overweight again. I still fear the control that food and cravings seem to have over my choices.

It may have been a year ago, but I still struggle with the same head issues as before. Some are better, some are the same, but I am coming to grips with this being a lifelong journey and not one that ends just because I am at my goal.

POTS...not just something you cook with

I saw my cardiologist last week and my echo was perfect. Yay!!!

The tilt table test showed that I have a syndrome called POTS...Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. Basically, my veins don't constrict and my blood pressure doesn't rise when I stand up, so my body isn't pumping the blood back up and it is pooling in my legs and feet. So, my doctor has put me on a medicine to help this.

And let me tell you, I could feel a difference the first day I started taking it! I was so excited. In fact, so much so that I felt fabulous on Saturday and took full advantage of it. The kids and I cleaned house for 3 hours, went to Wal-Mart for groceries, came back and cleaned house some more...then we went shopping in Norman during the OU/TX game (yes, I am an OU fan, but I cannot sit in front of a TV and watch sports...yuk!), then went to a friends house for dinner and a little scrapbooking. It was such a great day.

Until...Sunday morning.

When my body said...."Huh uh! You overdid it yesterday and now we need to rest...A LOT!" It took me two days to recover. So, I guess this means I am not completely "healed", but I am at least feeling better more than feeling worse.

I'm ready to get back to exercising and going full blast...but I guess that will be something I have to wait a bit for. But I do plan to take advantage of this energy and start going for short walks in the evening...I can't resist this beautiful weather.

Thanks again for all the love, prayers and support you guys gave me. I could really feel all of it! God is so good! (Especially for giving me you.)

(To learn more about POTS, you can click here.)