(Disclaimer...I think I've talked about this before, but I'm not sure...so if I have, just humor me, it has further relevance to today's post too. )
I'm tired. When I get tired like this, I get weepy. Yes, I know...it isn't uncommon for me to cry at...well...anything, yes, I cry at basically anything. But this "weepiness" is different than crying at something that I would normally cry at anyways.
One of my loves is to sing with our praise group at church. I feel spiritually fulfilled when I am singing praises. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do much singing as of late because it exacerbates the symptoms of POTS (in layman's terms...I get really dizzy and tired when I sing...and standing up to sing is completely out of the question).
I made the decision to go to our Wednesday practice last night. This is where we pick out the songs for Sunday morning worship and we run through each one to make sure we are all singing them correctly. One of the songs we ran through last night was "View that Holy City". I have always enjoyed this song but it hasn't necessarily held a special place for me. It was a just a hymn we sang...ya know? Well that is....until now....because of this...
"I'm gonna sing and never get tired one of these days"
Hallelujah! I immediately had tears well up in my eyes last night as we sang this line in the song. It was different from my normal tears too. With my body weak, my heart sore and my spirit struggling, these words brought such an amazing comfort to me. Because I AM gonna sing in heaven one of these days and I will be able to sing as long as I want without my human shell holding me back.
I am tearing up even now. A mixture of sorrow for what I am limited by in this life and joy for what I will be able to freely do in the next.
Prairie Godmother
1 year ago
3 comments:
we are different but the same, holy crap I know..I cry weekly over my migraines I have NEVER ever known what it is like to be healthy, normal and not limited to what I can and can't do in my life due to an illness. you will have good days and bad but you just have to work thru.
What a great post! I hate your 'limitation' for you! Just try to keep it in perspective...it could be worse!! Love you!!
BTW, did you see idol last night!! Holy Cow!! Talk about perspective!! Sheesh!!
What a wonderful blessing for you to receive during your worship!! Yes, ONE DAY we will be able to do so many things our earthly body will not allow us to do now. What a wonderful time that will be. Until then...take care of what God has given you.
May God continue to bless you my friend.
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