Disclaimer: I am going to be very transparent and vulnerable with this post. This is something that has been heavy on my heart for a long, long time. So, please be kind if you decide to comment and remember that my feelings are completely exposed at this point.
I am a jealous person. This is not normal husband/wife jealousy...I'm not jealous of Tony or when other women notice how HOT! my man is...that is, as long as he doesn't reciprocate the attention...hehehe...then I might be jealous of that too.
No, what I tend to be jealous of most is my friends. No, I don't expect that I am their only friend and I don't expect that they include me in everything they do. But I do want to be a part of their everyday lives. If I could have my friends over for dinner every day or meet them for coffee everyday, I would be completely happy. So, when I don't get to spend time with them or when I feel distanced from them, I get this insecure feeling. This feeling like I am not as important to them as they are to me.
I'm not sure why I feel so insecure about the friendships in my life. I know God has given me each person for a particular reason...It may be so I can be a blessing in their life or they are being a blessing in mine...so why do I question God's intention with these friends so much? Why do I ask Him for more than he has already given?
Am I the only 36 year old who feels like a child when it comes to this type of thing? Are these feelings just natural because I truly do love each and every one of my friends? Please someone else out there, tell me that my feelings are normal and that I'm not some crazy psychopath.
Rubah4d: Menyongsong Masa Depan Kreatif
2 hours ago
2 comments:
I'm sorry Becky that you are having these feelings. I wish that I could say that I have no idea what you are talking about, but I was just talking to my s-i-l about it yesterday. There is definitely more that I'd like to say, but I'll email you. ;)
Rebecca, I have never been a very good friend. I am not good at talking on the phone or keeping up with people when they need me most. I am embarrassed to say that I have let my friends down on occasion. This is something I have really begun to work on in the last 2 years. I think keeping your friends in your life is very important. I don't have any advice to give you except to keep being a good friend. Good friends are as hard to come by as they are to be.
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