Disclaimer: I am going to be very transparent and vulnerable with this post. This is something that has been heavy on my heart for a long, long time. So, please be kind if you decide to comment and remember that my feelings are completely exposed at this point.
I am a jealous person. This is not normal husband/wife jealousy...I'm not jealous of Tony or when other women notice how HOT! my man is...that is, as long as he doesn't reciprocate the attention...hehehe...then I might be jealous of that too.
No, what I tend to be jealous of most is my friends. No, I don't expect that I am their only friend and I don't expect that they include me in everything they do. But I do want to be a part of their everyday lives. If I could have my friends over for dinner every day or meet them for coffee everyday, I would be completely happy. So, when I don't get to spend time with them or when I feel distanced from them, I get this insecure feeling. This feeling like I am not as important to them as they are to me.
I'm not sure why I feel so insecure about the friendships in my life. I know God has given me each person for a particular reason...It may be so I can be a blessing in their life or they are being a blessing in mine...so why do I question God's intention with these friends so much? Why do I ask Him for more than he has already given?
Am I the only 36 year old who feels like a child when it comes to this type of thing? Are these feelings just natural because I truly do love each and every one of my friends? Please someone else out there, tell me that my feelings are normal and that I'm not some crazy psychopath.
Prairie Godmother
1 year ago
2 comments:
I'm sorry Becky that you are having these feelings. I wish that I could say that I have no idea what you are talking about, but I was just talking to my s-i-l about it yesterday. There is definitely more that I'd like to say, but I'll email you. ;)
Rebecca, I have never been a very good friend. I am not good at talking on the phone or keeping up with people when they need me most. I am embarrassed to say that I have let my friends down on occasion. This is something I have really begun to work on in the last 2 years. I think keeping your friends in your life is very important. I don't have any advice to give you except to keep being a good friend. Good friends are as hard to come by as they are to be.
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