Thursday, February 14, 2013

What I'm Thinkin' Thursday

I hope you all have wonderful Valentine's Day plans either today, tomorrow or a night to come.  And if not, I hope that is by choice.  Because I am an "if not"...you see, Tony and I have never really celebrated Valentine's Day.  Not sure why, but since it has worked for us, why not go with it.


On this day though, I can't help but think about LOVE and how blessed I am to be in the relationship I am.  So, I thought I would tell you "Our Story" today.  I won't get too ooey gooey, but I will try to be as honest as possible.  It will probably be long (we have been together for almost 21 years).  So, please read it all.  I think it will be entertaining for you.

Just before Spring Break of my senior year of high school (1992), my best friend and I decided to get jobs.  Of course, we wanted to work at the same place, but the grace of God knew better than to do that.  One of the places we decided to apply was the local movie theatre.  While we were there getting our applications, a VERY cute guy strutted in...he obviously worked there and he obviously thought pretty highly of himself.  I got the job a few days later and was excited to meet this guy that intrigued me so much.  His name was Tony and he was just as arrogant as he portrayed himself to be. 

A week after I started working at the theatre it was Spring Break.  Tony went on the infamous Padre trip and I stayed behind and started dating another guy.  Theatre jobs have lots of free time, so once Tony was back from his trip, we had plenty of time to sit around and get to know each other.  I had a serious crush on Tony, but I was dating someone else.  So friends was all it could be.  Nothing more.  But after two months, I was done with the "other guy".  I broke up with him the week before my prom, so that left me without a date.  Who better to ask than a friend? (wink wink)

The very next day, I gave Tony a call.  He wasn't "available", so I left a message with his mom and told her I needed to ask him a question and to have him call me.  It wasn't until the next day when I ran into Tony at the mall (completely caught off guard) and he asked me what it was I wanted.  Man...I did not want to ask him face to face, but I swallowed my stomach and did it.  I asked him to the prom.  Did he say "yes"?  Nope.  He told me he would have to let me know.  Told ya...arrogant.  The next day (a Monday) we were working the same shift at the theatre and every time we talked, he acted like I wasn't waiting for the answer.  Finally, I broke down and asked him again.  Yeah...like he had forgotten.  Luckily, he let me off the hook and told me he would be my date for the prom.


It was a perfect first date.  I was among all of my friends with a mysterious guy that none of them knew.  And he sure could dance!  It was fantastic.  We had our first kiss that night and I was completely smitten.  It was a couple weeks later when we decided to be exclusive and the "L" word started being thrown around.  But with the end of my senior year came college.  I was moving away to Edmond and he was staying in Shawnee. 

After I moved, we still tried to see each other as much as possible...which means we were blowing through money like nobody's business.  (Thank goodness gas wasn't $3.50 a gallon back then.)  I hated college.  I hated Edmond.  I hated my roommate.  And I had gained the freshman fifteen thirty.  But I loved Tony!  Unfortunately, that wasn't enough.  After a year of sheer unhappiness in just about every area of my life, I had become a pretty mean and bitter girlfriend.  Tony wasn't the nicest guy either, but I'm trying to take ownership of what I brought to the relationship.  So, we both came to grips with the reality of the situation and we broke up.

He wanted to date other girls and I just wanted him back.  We played on the same co-ed softball team, so we still saw each other once a week.   And those Sundays were miserable.  Until I found out that I could kill him with my happiness.  So, I started loving life...dating new guys...and making sure Tony heard about it or saw it one way or another.

We had been broken up for about two months and Tony's family was taking a motorcycle trip that we had planned before the breakup.  Of course, I wouldn't be going.  But for some reason, I went to Tony's s-i-l and told her that I wanted to know when they were back and safe, because I had a bad feeling.  One day later, she called me and said she had to see me.  They were already back and something HAD happened.  Tony had wrecked his motorcycle about an hour into the trip.

He broke a bone in his wrist and one in his ankle, so when I first saw him he was in a wheelchair.  I was crushed.  I wanted to fix him.  But I had no claim to him.  We started talking and hanging out a little.  He confessed that instead of worrying about himself or his motorcycle after the accident, I was the first thing he thought of...he was grateful that I wasn't on the back of his bike.  (I believe that our breakup was God keeping us both safe by not letting me be on that trip.)  Once he realized he wasn't worried about anything else, he realized he loved me.  We got back together and there was no doubt for either us that we would get married.

We married two years later and lived Happily Ever After...um  NOT!  Marriage hasn't been easy for us.  We were young (only 21) when we married and still had lots of growing up to do.  We've been to marriage counseling on 3 separate occasions and probably could've gone more than that.  But we've been lucky.  The times I've wanted out, he hasn't and the times he has wanted out, I haven't.  So, one of us has always been there to fight.
Things still aren't perfect, but they are the best they have ever been.  What we've been through has brought us to where are today, so I wouldn't change a single moment of it.  Will we have hard times again?  Undoubtedly.  But will we make it through it?  Oh yeah!  Because we've finally put God in our marriage where He belongs.  Maybe one of these days I will be strong enough to tell you about the "bumps" that we hit in our marriage, but not today.  Let's just focus on the LOVE!

Thanks for reading our story.  Happy Valentine's Day to you all.  

5 comments:

Girl On a Journey said...

How awesome and honest your story is. Thanks for sharing it! Happy Valentine's Day to you and your Love!

Anthony Brum said...

She is not kidden I was ARROGANT! And still to this day can not believe that beautiful girl asked me to the prom.. So glad she did!!! I am blessed to have her as my wife.. I love you Baby...

Crystal Clear As Mud said...

I love the honesty and real-life love in this story! Thanks for sharing! :)

Krysten @ Why Girls Are Weird said...

Kudos for you for asking him out! What a sweet story Becky, thanks for sharing!

Kendra said...

Congrats on 21 years! I love your love story, it's so real. Like you and Tony, my husband and I married young and it hasn't been easy. I tell him all the time thank goodness we were stubborn or we wouldn't divorced a long time ago.

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